it's too hot outside to masturbate.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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