Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
