seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
