sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
