The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
