Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well you can't waste a boner
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
