I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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