I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
