No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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