i need an iv and a liver transplant
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
