Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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