Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
