Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
