part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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