Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
