At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
