he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
