We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
