Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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