I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
