One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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