The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
