2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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