Sponge bath it is.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
These tits shall not be calmed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
