dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thus making me awesome and them whores
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
