let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
