no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
