I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
