Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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