I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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