Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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