that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the condom got lost in my hair
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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