She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
