I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
