Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
