that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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