community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
