I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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