You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wish there were birth control emojis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
