dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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