How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
