the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
