apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
