ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
