Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
