Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
