he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
