That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
me + whiskey = a bad person
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
