Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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