Your tits are I can't wait for
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
