Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Too much gin, very little bucket
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
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